For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
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