literally had 100 drinks last night.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
