I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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