I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
3pm strippers are depressing
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Randomize
