Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
