Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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