What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
he shaved USA in his pubs
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
It's blow job season.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Randomize
