Ambien. No doubt about it.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize