I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
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