Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Randomize
