Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
