And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
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