you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Randomize
