used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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