Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
