We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
