she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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