I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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