Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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