i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
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