AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
