we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
