So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I did not marry a roomba.
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