she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
