My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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