Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Randomize
