Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
