I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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