Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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