The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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