it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
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