her vagine was all disorganized.
Betty ford says i'm here all night
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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