I think i peed on brittanys purse
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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