you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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