I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Randomize
