also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Randomize
