Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
