Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
