he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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