Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
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