i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize
