I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Just high enough for therapy.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Randomize
