whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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