i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
