My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
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