So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Randomize
