Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Randomize
