in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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