alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
