Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
