is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
What changed your mind?
Being sober
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Randomize
