I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Acid is not a monday night drug
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
