maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
