Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
