you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
