North Korea, Best Korea!
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
