Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
You pole danced in your parka.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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