i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize