I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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