I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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