I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
where are my eyebrows?
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
