It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
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